Bad Sweets

-Bunch of orphaned kids try to make a raft that obviously fails
-RikuKairiRikuKairiRikuRikuRiku
-Obligatory disney characters/worlds that you get tired of within an hour
-Donald and GOFFY appears but who cares honestly?
-kingdom Hearts, Kingdom Hearts
-Light
-darkness
-light is all good
-dark bad, like super bad, don’t touch that shit kiddies
-Malefie-
-oh no Riku is evil, how did we not expect this?
-Xehanort, Xehan-
-OH LOOK THERES KAI-
-HOLY SHIT ITS RIKU!
-FUCKING DONALD AND GOFFY DITCH YO ASS but who cares since their a waste of potions and ethers
-sora stabs himself to stop all the gay rumors
-ultimately fails since he turns right back
-Goofy and Donald are back
-Xehanort cutscene but honestly who cares at this point?
-KINGDOM HEARTS! WHERE IS MY HEART!?
-KINGDOM HEARTS IS LIGHT! HURRR YOU TROLLED YOURSELF XEHANORT
-riku tells you to take care of Kairi but all Sora wants to take care of is that hard on in his pants
-obligatory Sorkai scene cause the ratio of how many Sora said Riku’s name to Kairi’s name is ridiculous.
-Cue simple and clean making you cry rather than the Sorkai moment

-Sora, Goofy, and Donald are lost but let’s follow that weird dude into that castle anyway!
-INTRODUCING THE MOST ANNOYING FUCKING BATTLE SYSTEM KNOWN TO FUCKING MAN
-But you get Cloud as a summons so that makes it kind of better
-Time to revisit Disney worlds that you hated in the first game! Yay for unoriginality
-Sora’s memory starts slipping up and shit but everything’s pretty chill
-introducing Axel, the organization member with the most ANNOYING CATCHPHRASE IN THE WHOLE GAME
-Commit it to memory
-Commit it to memory
-commit it to memory
-Axel killed Vexen to gain Marluxia’s trust
-AKA Axel killed Vexen to get in Marluxia’s pants
-but nobody cares since Vexen’s a creep
-If you thought you hated Kairi than you might want to reconsider that
-INTRODUCING LAREXEN, the bitchy one, and Marluxia’s side hoe
-but Sora kills her any way cause he’s the main character
-Sora’s memory turns to shit but who care since Namine is a huge improvement over Kairi
-Sora fights Axel
-But Axel’s a little shit so he gets away
-INTRODUCING MARLUXIA, MR. PIMPTASTIC HIMSELF
-but then you take back that pimp comment since his pink hair and roses really throws you off.
-CUE THE MOST ANNOYING BOSS FIGHT IN THE WHOLE GAME
-Sora’s memory is basically in the toilet but Namine helps you so it all works out yaaaaay
-Cue Riku’s story which is chock full of self pity and depressing shit
-AKA I ain’t dealing with it