Maximoff.

(about age of ultron)

honestly, you know what? screw a well-put-together kindly edited review. have this rant.
fuck that movie. i was so underwhelmed. the quips were the only part i really enjoyed and half the time they were ooc. i don’t like the vision. THERE, I SAID IT. I DON’T LIKE THE VISION. he didn’t get enough development and he was NOT JARVIS and steve or nat should have been lifting the hammer, not him. i hate that joss “killed” the “real” jarvis, he was so beloved and nobody seems to care. i don’t like that joss more or less destroyed all our jarvis and clintasha headcanons, and all the headcanons about everyone having a floor on the tower, i don’t like that they moved to a new facility that makes no fucking sense, i don’t like that clint “retired,” i don’t fucking LIKE brucenat, i have had enough of watching women be terrorized for one lifetime, ULTRON WAS A DUMB VILLAIN AND WASTED POTENTIAL, no one got any development, nobody’s backstory was referenced, it was just joss jerking himself off (that “A JOSS WHEDON FILM” in the end credits, fuck off) and making fucking rape jokes and ignoring shit he didn’t like as though he expected it to be HIS SANDBOX! no, this is an established verse that’s 50 years old you don’t get to just take it over you dumb entitled asshole!!
fuck joss whedon! fuck his writing! buffy was the only good thing he ever did for anybody and he didn’t even really treat her or the other ladies right! it was full of that cheap character death shit he does for fun bc he likes to ~torture~ fans bc he has some weird power trip thing going on like quit stroking your fucking ego all the time you fucking douchenugget, you have never earned those tears. fuck everybody lining up to suck joss whedon’s cock because he can make a half-decent joke! fuck these privileged male showrunners and writers taking characters we love and turning them into shadows of themselves and never letting anything good happen! fuck joss whedon, fuck steven moffat, fuck jeff davis, i feel like i’m missing 1000 people but fuck all of them! fuck everybody writing my favorite shit being dickheads! fuck capitalism and bigotry leaving us so desperate and starving we would be happy with one female character out of six if she had just been written decently!
fuck natasha being a love interest, fuck her graduation ceremony being sterilization, fuck THAT of all things being more traumatic than being forced to kill AS A CHILD. fuck joss for destroying so much fanon so thoroughly. fuck joss for whitewashing romani characters and making them volunteer for nazi experimentation! fuck joss for making rhodey the butt of a joke, again, fuck him for not including sam in that final fight, i expected him to show up with rhodey, i wanted them to meet! fuck joss ignoring the winter soldier! FUCK JOSS WHEDON, I HATE HIM. HE’S A PIECE OF SHIT. fuck that we have ANOTHER crappy, worse movie we have to fanwank into making sense–that language comment, tony’s hysterical laughter, we have to come up with alternate explanations for bad writing just so we can sleep at night! fuck joss reducing maria hill’s role, fuck joss for not including pepper and jane and having the nerve to fucking joke about it! fuck joss and marvel for hating women!
and fuck everybody who is being willfully blind about those issues bc they liked the movie too. like you’re allowed to like shit that is problematic but you shouldn’t ignore those problems. ugh, bruce grabbing wanda around the neck like that, that legitimately upset me in the theater, even though it was brief. bruce is supposed to be the good guy and i fucking hate seeing him threaten women like that!
god, just, FUCK THIS MOVIE. FUCK THIS MOVIE. i was one of the people obsessively asking others to tag spoilers and speculation because i was so sure it would RUIN EVERYTHING and there was nothing i could do about it but worry and i was RIGHT. i’m most upset about clint’s bg/clintasha and jarvis. those things were always pretty core to fic and now writers are going to try to include it and have to work around it or ignore it and i just hate everything, i’m so angry and bitter and frustrated with everything. mcu was such a great awesome place and now aou has gone and taken a big steaming dump right in the middle of it and I AM EXPECTED TO TAG MY JOSS HATE? fuck that. fuck joss whedon. i should be asking ppl to tag joss positivity!! i hate everything.