Re: − to my youth.

por **sagittarius** Vie 24 Nov 2017, 1:24 pm

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goodluck tomorrow at MAMA VIETNAM bby

por **sagittarius** Vie 24 Nov 2017, 1:26 pm

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wtf imkniiwnieor why fvuivh9 does he liiek makingbjwqh me suffer jvffhi2jpim

por **sagittarius** Vie 24 Nov 2017, 1:26 pm

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aegyeo king

por **sagittarius** Vie 24 Nov 2017, 1:27 pm

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jaehwanie is upset~

por **sagittarius** Vie 24 Nov 2017, 1:28 pm

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my heart

por **sagittarius** Vie 24 Nov 2017, 1:29 pm

"I have done nothing all summer but wait for myself to be myself again." - Georgia O’Keeffe, in a letter to Russel Vernon Hunter, fromGeorgia O’Keeffe: Art and Letters (New York Graphic Society, 1990).

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por **sagittarius** Vie 24 Nov 2017, 1:32 pm

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it's like he knows that his dimple is my favorite part of him and he wants me to suffer im-

por **sagittarius** Vie 24 Nov 2017, 1:32 pm

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baby boy doesn't need to diet smh

por **sagittarius** Vie 24 Nov 2017, 1:34 pm

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He's the cutest when he's eating and NOT dieting wtf

por **sagittarius** Vie 24 Nov 2017, 1:49 pm

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some part of me seems to not want to get better... I want someone, anyone to notice i'm not doing okay, that i'm lying when i say i'm better or i'm doing fine. This part of me is suffering and wants attention. i want someone to hold me and tell me that it's going to get better, lie to me and tell me it's okay, tell me those lies, i will believe them. i say 'tomorrow', 'next week', 'before school starts' but i know damn well that's a lie. I'm trying, I DO want to get better, most of me wants that at least. But it's holding me back, it's like... i'm gonna get better and then... it feels like this disorder it's everything I have???, I don't know what I am without it???, everything else??? I am nothing without this eating disorder and it scares me. I don't know how to write or how to express my feelings but I have to do it somehow, I want to let my feelings out so I can understand myself better. It doesn't matter how hard I try to express what it feels to be suffering like this, I can't, words can't simply express.There must be billions, trillions of words in the whole world just in this lenguage but none are enough to express this disorder.
There is a certain amount of calories I have to eat to gain weight, but I seem to have stopped gaining from it???,
so I need to up those calories from 3000 to 3250 but I'm scared, what if I'm not gaining bc I'm actually not eating 3000 and I'm miscalculating or what if my scale is broken???? and I'm GAINING ALREADY, you know whta I mean?, what if with 3000 i'm gaining but I don't know that bc my scale is broken?? or I don't know if it's the disroder talking and I'm just overreacting... and then when I eat 3250 I gain sO much and it scares me. I HAVE to gain, I know that, but gaining 'too fast' scares me, for the simple reason that after I'm finally in my goal weight, I'm nothing... just a normal person, I WANT that, but the anorexia doesn't want it. I don't know how to control the disorder, the disorder it's controlling ME.

por **sagittarius** Vie 24 Nov 2017, 1:51 pm

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oh my god his cheeks drive me crazy

por **sagittarius** Vie 24 Nov 2017, 1:52 pm

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I can relate big time... sigh.

por **sagittarius** Vie 24 Nov 2017, 1:57 pm

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por **sagittarius** Vie 24 Nov 2017, 1:57 pm

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beautiful wonderful

por **sagittarius** Vie 24 Nov 2017, 1:59 pm

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