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Mrs. Krabappel and Principal Skinner were in the closet making babies and I saw one of the babies and then the baby looked at me. Oh, everything looks bad if you remember it. I've done everything the Bible says — even the stuff that contradicts the other stuff! You don't win friends with salad. Remember the time he ate my goldfish? And you lied and said I never had goldfish. Then why did I have the bowl, Bart? *Why did I have the bowl?*

What's the point of going out? We're just going to wind up back here anyway. I can't go to juvie. They use guys like me as currency. Save me, Jeebus. Beer. Now there's a temporary solution. Fame was like a drug. But what was even more like a drug were the drugs. Son, when you participate in sporting events, it's not whether you win or lose: it's how drunk you get.

I was saying "Boo-urns." I didn't think it was physically possible, but this both sucks *and* blows. Slow down, Bart! My legs don't know how to be as long as yours. I've done everything the Bible says — even the stuff that contradicts the other stuff!

Here's to alcohol, the cause of — and solution to — all life's problems. Kids, you tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try. That's why I love elementary school, Edna. The children believe anything you tell them. I've done everything the Bible says — even the stuff that contradicts the other stuff! Facts are meaningless. You could use facts to prove anything that's even remotely true! Whoa, slow down there, maestro. There's a *New* Mexico?

How is education supposed to make me feel smarter? Besides, every time I learn something new, it pushes some old stuff out of my brain. Remember when I took that home winemaking course, and I forgot how to drive? No children have ever meddled with the Republican Party and lived to tell about it. Inflammable means flammable? What a country. This is the greatest case of false advertising I've seen since I sued the movie "The Never Ending Story."

I didn't think it was physically possible, but this both sucks *and* blows. How is education supposed to make me feel smarter? Besides, every time I learn something new, it pushes some old stuff out of my brain. Remember when I took that home winemaking course, and I forgot how to drive? Remember the time he ate my goldfish? And you lied and said I never had goldfish. Then why did I have the bowl, Bart? *Why did I have the bowl?*

I've done everything the Bible says — even the stuff that contradicts the other stuff! I can't go to juvie. They use guys like me as currency. "Thank the Lord"? That sounded like a prayer. A prayer in a public school. God has no place within these walls, just like facts don't have a place within an organized religion. We started out like Romeo and Juliet, but it ended up in tragedy. Old people don't need companionship. They need to be isolated and studied so it can be determined what nutrients they have that might be extracted for our personal use.

Fire can be our friend; whether it's toasting marshmallows or raining down on Charlie. Save me, Jeebus. …And the fluffy kitten played with that ball of string all through the night. On a lighter note, a Kwik-E-Mart clerk was brutally murdered last night. Marge, just about everything's a sin. Y'ever sat down and read this thing? Technically we're not supposed to go to the bathroom. Inflammable means flammable? What a country.

Beer. Now there's a temporary solution. What's the point of going out? We're just going to wind up back here anyway. What good is money if it can't inspire terror in your fellow man?

Lorem Ipsum Crap.